I’m a terrible person. The Thursday morning I saw George Irvin’s funfair arrive at the park across from our flat, my stomach sank. If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s going to places where there are lots of children. Even worse, places where there are lots of children and sugar. This particular quirk doesn’t make me a terrible person, but wanting to keep my sweet, always-obedient-and-totally-deserving-of-a-day-at-the-fair daughter from seeing it and wanting to go kind of does. I resisted the urge to tell her that only people from England were allowed in (because she probably would have believed me and then I’d have felt even worse), and on the last day of the funfair, I sucked it up,
took three Xanax, and we braved the crowds to ride some rides!
After we bought tickets, I immediately regretted telling Lex she could use them on whatever she wanted, because what does she want to do first? Ride the biggest, scariest, most dangerous-looking ride of them all. I don’t know about you, but I don’t find fair rides to be particularly trustworthy. Anything that large that arrives in pieces and is assembled in a matter of a couple hours just doesn’t strike me as safe, but I said yes anyway, against my better judgement. (I thought it was only dads that fell prey to their daughter’s puppy-dog eyes!)
So she got on the appropriately-named Tornado ride, and I was forced to watch helplessly from the ground as this mechanical beast flung her and its other victims through the air like rag-dolls. And then I had to do it again because she wanted to ride it twice. As if once weren’t enough to give me a permanent irregular heartbeat. Luckily, the rest of the rides were a bit more tame and I was able to concentrate more on avoiding children with sticky candy-floss hands than keeping my almost 12-year-old from plummeting to her untimely death on a fair ride.
Two hours later, I was just about to fake a headache and go home when the storm clouds started rolling in. Saved by the
bell unpredictable English weather! I’ve never been so happy to be pelted with rain drops as we raced back to our flat. I will never enjoy events like this, but I’ve become all too aware in the past few months just how little time we have left with our “little” girl before she prefers her friends over her parents, so if what she wants to do is go to a funfair, then bring on the overpriced rides and goldfish games!